I came out of the closet my freshman year of high school to my parents and eventually started to slowly come out. I’ve always known that I was gay ever since I was really young. However, I didn’t know there was a word for it until middle school where I was repeatedly criticized and bullied because my peers could tell that I was gay. All through middle school, I denied being gay even though I was still being bashed by my peers, but the bullying is what helped me come out believe it or not.
High school then happened, and I was at my breaking point my freshman year. I was so emotionally distraught from middle school and tired of life to the point I almost considered suicide, but that’s not my style. To get to my breaking point, and over my sadness, I realized that I have a good life and that I need to accept myself as a gay male. After realizing that, I remember getting this burst of a good feeling from my gut that assured me I was going in the right direction to getting over this.
During the beginning of my journey, I grew really tired of hiding who I am, and pretty much said “F–this”, and came out to my parents and friends as being gay, even though they figured through observation. After coming out everything changed. I started dressing differently than what I use too, I finally started smiling more because not only was I starting to accept myself, but I finally made it in my journey to not care about people and what people had to say about me. I started to love everything about me and decided to better myself for me. I’ve gained a large amount of confidence within myself, I’ve gained supportive friends, a boogie attitude, as well as an inner Nicki Minaj like a dungeon dragon.
Remember the “It gets better” videos and coming out stories? When I first saw the videos I use to think they were cliche and uncertain because everyone lives completely different lives, and I thought it was impossible to say that it will get better for everyone considering the society and different beliefs we’re surrounded by. During my journey, I soon realized that it does actually get better and that I was wrong for saying the “It gets better” videos and coming out stories were cliche and uncertain because it does get better with the things you personally gain through the experiences you go through in your journey. Once I fully accepted myself and started to live for myself I felt unstoppable, I started to become my own best friend, I didn’t need assurance from other people, I started to trust myself, and I became much more independent and it did get better.
The journey of acceptance is not easy and it shouldn’t be. The experiences I’ve gone through and personal gains I received through the journey will be remembered for life. I’ve learned so much about myself and I’m pleased that I was able to experience and overcome this obstacle in my life. It’s what made me who I am today, and I regret nothing.
To those who are on their journey please keep going, and cry if you need too. Do whatever you need to do to fully start accepting yourself. Become your own best friend and live for yourself without fear. Everyone wasn’t chosen to take this journey so stay positive and finish strong.
Happy Pride Month!